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Why Do Men Choose Mail Order Brides? Survey Insights

A recent study from 2022 found that not all women who become mail-order brides do so because of financial hardship. In China, for example, many women from well-off families choose Western partners, believing they offer better emotional support and stronger relationships​. This shift shows that love, compatibility, and personal dreams are just as important as financial security.

So, why do women become mail-order brides? And why do men seek them out? Let’s dive into the real reasons behind these modern international marriages.

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Why women become mail-order brides

mail-order bride

Not every woman who becomes a mail-order bride is escaping hardship. The reasons are diverse and deeply personal, ranging from dreams of a better life to a search for love that they can’t seem to find at home. Here’s why some women take this path:

  • Better economic opportunities – For many women in developing countries, the chance to marry a foreign partner can mean better financial security, not just for them but for their families too.
  • Breaking free from expectations – Some women come from cultures where marriage is more about family pressure than love. A foreign marriage can mean more personal freedom.
  • Attracted to foreign men’s attitudes – There’s a common belief in some cultures that Western men are more romantic, faithful, and supportive than local men.
  • Adventure and new beginnings – Moving abroad and experiencing a different culture can be exciting, offering a fresh start in life.
  • Limited local options – In certain countries, men move away for work, leaving fewer local marriage prospects. Some women look internationally for a loving partner.

For these women, being a mail-order bride isn’t about desperation, it’s more like making a choice that aligns with their dreams and goals. Love, adventure, and a chance for something different drive their decision.

Why men look for a mail-order bride

Just like the women, men have their own reasons for seeking love abroad. Many feel frustrated with modern dating or are simply drawn to women from different cultures. Here’s what motivates them:

  • Looking for traditional values – Some men feel that local women are too focused on independence and careers, while they want a partner who values family life and traditional roles.
  • Attraction to exotic beauty – Let’s be real—physical attraction plays a role. Some men are drawn to the femininity and appearance of women from specific regions.
  • Tired of the local dating scene – Many men struggle with modern dating apps, ghosting, and a lack of commitment. Looking abroad can feel like a fresh start.
  • Belief in stronger, more loyal marriages – Some men think that foreign brides are more dedicated to marriage and less likely to divorce.
  • Financial confidence – Men from wealthier countries might feel they can provide a higher standard of living for a foreign wife, which makes them feel more valued and respected.

Finding a mail-order bride is usually about seeking the kind of relationship they can’t find at home, not a fantasy or objectification of women. They’re looking for something real and lasting, just like mail order brides.

Success stories and facts on mail-order marriages

mail-order marriage

When people hear about mail-order marriages, they often wonder—do they actually work? Are these relationships built to last, or are they just short-term flings that fizzle out? The truth is, many of these marriages succeed, and some studies even suggest they have a lower divorce rate than traditional marriages. Let’s dive into the numbers and hear from real couples who made it work.

Marriage success rate vs. Domestic marriages

Believe it or not, mail-order marriages often have a pretty solid track record. While exact numbers vary, international marriages have a lower divorce rate than domestic ones. One reason? Both partners typically go into it knowing exactly what they want—a committed relationship, not just casual dating. That level of clarity can be a huge advantage in making a marriage work.

Of course, no relationship is immune to challenges. Cultural differences, immigration struggles, and language barriers can put stress on a couple. But those who enter these marriages with open minds and realistic expectations tend to thrive.

Divorce rate of international couples

Sure, no marriage is guaranteed to last forever, but international couples often show strong commitment to making things work. Many have already overcome long distances, bureaucracy, and cultural differences just to be together, which builds a strong foundation.

That being said, challenges like adjusting to life in a new country or dealing with skeptical family members can create added pressure. But couples who truly respect and support each other tend to find ways to navigate these hurdles.

Real-life success stories from mail-order marriages

Not all international marriages are scams or fairytales—most fall somewhere in between, built on real connections and shared goals.

There are numerous accounts of couples who have found lasting love through mail-order bride services. For instance, a Reddit user shared a story about a friend, Richard, a long-haul trucker from West Virginia, who married a woman from the Philippines. Despite initial cultural differences, they built a strong bond, and Richard was supporting his wife’s educational aspirations. She became a physician’s assistant, and they’ve been happily married for over 20 years!

Mail-order marriages, when done right, are just another way for two people to find love—sometimes from halfway across the world.

Risks and scams in international dating

While many people find real love through international dating, there’s no denying that scams exist. Unfortunately, where there’s romance, there are also scammers waiting to take advantage of hopeful hearts. But don’t worry—being informed can help you spot the red flags and avoid getting played.

Common scams in international dating

If something feels off, trust your gut. Here are the most common scams to watch out for:

  • Romance scams – You start chatting with someone who seems perfect—too perfect. After a while, they start asking for money for “a family emergency,” “a visa,” or “a plane ticket” that never materializes. Once the cash is sent, they disappear.
  • Catfishing – Some scammers steal photos and personal details from real people to create fake profiles. They lure victims into emotional relationships, only for the truth to come out later.
  • Advance-fee fraud – This one’s sneaky. They promise to visit you soon but need help covering “last-minute travel expenses.” The catch? The trip never happens.

How to identify fake profiles

Spotting a scammer isn’t always easy, but here are some clues:

  • Their photos look like professional model shots (because they often are).
  • They profess their love too fast, sometimes within days.
  • They avoid video calls or live chats—because they don’t actually look like their photos.
  • Their stories sound dramatic—they’re always in crisis mode and need financial help.
  • They push for quick commitments—talking about marriage before you’ve even met.

Avoiding money traps and fraud

Here’s the golden rule: never send money to someone you haven’t met in real life.

  • Keep conversations on legit dating platforms rather than switching to personal messaging apps too soon.
  • Do a reverse image search of their photos—if they show up on multiple profiles, it’s a scam.
  • If someone pressures you for money or personal info, cut them off immediately.
  • If they say they love you after just a few messages—be skeptical.

While scams exist, most people in international dating are genuinely looking for love. The key is staying smart, being patient, and keeping your heart open without being naive. Love is out there—you just have to find it wisely.

Cultural differences and relationship challenges

Falling in love with someone from another culture is exciting, but it’s not always easy. While international relationships can be incredibly rewarding, they also come with unique challenges that require patience, understanding, and effort. From language barriers to family expectations, let’s break down some of the most common obstacles—and how to overcome them.

Language barriers and communication issues

One of the first hurdles couples face is language differences. Misunderstandings can happen easily when you don’t speak the same first language, leading to frustration, miscommunication, or even unnecessary fights.

💡 How to overcome it:

  • Learn basic phrases in your partner’s language—it shows effort and respect.
  • Use translation apps like Google Translate to bridge gaps in understanding.
  • Be patient and use simple, clear language to avoid confusion.
  • Encourage your partner to practice your language, but don’t pressure them.

Family expectations and traditions

In many cultures, marriage isn’t just about two people—it’s about families too. Your bride’s family may have expectations about gender roles, religious customs, or even how children should be raised. If these don’t align with your own values, conflicts can arise.

💡 How to overcome it:

  • Respect her culture — learn about important traditions and ask her family questions.
  • Set boundaries if family expectations feel overwhelming.
  • Be open and honest about your own beliefs and values early on.
  • Visit her home country to experience her traditions firsthand and show you care.

Adjusting to life in a new country

Moving to a new country is a huge change, and your wife may feel homesick, overwhelmed, or even isolated in the beginning. Everything from food to weather to social norms can be different, making adjustment emotionally draining.

💡 How to help:

  • Support her in making friends — encourage her to join local groups or clubs.
  • Introduce her to expat communities where she can meet others from her culture.
  • Be patient with cultural adjustments — things that seem “normal” to you might feel strange to her.
  • Celebrate her culture at home — cook her favorite foods, play music from her country, and keep traditions alive.

Common challenges in international marriages (and how to solve them)

ChallengeSolution
Language barrierLearn basic phrases, use translation apps, practice together.
Cultural misunderstandingsResearch her traditions and values, have open discussions.
Family disapprovalCommunicate openly, involve families in visits and celebrations.
Immigration stressSeek legal guidance, hire an immigration expert if needed.

How to build a strong relationship with a mail-order bride

strong relationship with a mail-order bride

Bringing two cultures together in a relationship can be beautiful, but it takes effort, as you already know. The key is mutual respect, open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn from each other. Here’s how to make your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.

Importance of mutual respect and understanding

At the heart of any successful marriage—international or not—is respect. Your wife may have grown up with different beliefs about marriage, family roles, and personal space. The best way to build trust is to listen, validate her feelings, and appreciate her perspective.

💡 Golden rule: Never assume your way is “right”—relationships thrive when both partners feel heard and valued.

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Tips for adjusting to cultural differences

Every couple has differences, but when you add culture and language into the mix, misunderstandings can feel bigger. The best way to deal with these differences is to discuss them instead of fighting against them.

💡 Ways to adapt together:

  • Learn about her culture — watch movies, try traditional dishes, and read about her customs.
  • Talk about expectations early — gender roles, finances, holidays, and parenting should be discussed openly.
  • Celebrate both cultures — find ways to blend traditions into your daily life.
  • Be flexible — what’s normal for you might be new to her, and vice versa.

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Making the marriage work long-term

A strong international marriage isn’t just about love and passion—it’s about commitment, compromise, and teamwork. The couples who make it last are the ones who put in the effort every day.

💡 How to keep the relationship strong:

  • Keep learning about each other’s cultures — even years into marriage, there’s always more to discover.
  • Check in with each other emotionally — moving to a new country can be isolating, so make sure she feels supported.
  • Prioritize quality time — date nights, shared hobbies, and deep conversations help keep the spark alive.
  • Handle disagreements with patience — when cultural clashes happen, focus on solutions, not blame.

At the end of the day, love is about growing together, and a cross-cultural marriage can be an amazing journey if both partners are willing to put in the work.

Conclusion

Marrying a mail-order bride isn’t just about romance or finding an “ideal” partner—it’s about building a life together, overcoming challenges, and embracing love beyond borders. 

The key to making it work? Patience, respect, and a whole lot of love. If you go into it with the right mindset, your international love story can be one of the most beautiful, fulfilling experiences of your life.

Last Updated: February 2025

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